The future
by Trf4n
Summary: Ormerod family set in the 1980's fanfiction
1. Chapter 1

The Royal set in the 1980's

Aisling was meeting her mum at the royal after evening surgery she didn't normally meet at the hospital but today was different they were going to the library in town. So as it was a nice sunny day she decided to do her revision on the beach. So deep was her concentration that the time had flow by a quick glance at her watch told her she was going to be late. Quickly putting on her shoes and running up the slope trying to stuff her books in the bag, she ran all the way to the royal.

Dr Weatherill had just finished with her last patient when Aisling walked through the door. Jill smiled at the flushed faced young girl and placed the back of her hand on her forehead asking if she was alright.

"Yeah I'm fine just got carried away and forgot the time so had to run all the way here" replied Aisling.

"Well I'll be ready in a minute I've just got some notes to write up" said Jill

They make their way to the office and Jill proceeds to scribble her notes down. They had only been in there a couple of minutes when there's a knock at the door Lizzie enters "sorry doctor there's an emergency and I can't find any of the others I've put their lights up I know your busy"

"No problem Lizzie" She said while getting up and moving swiftly to the door turning to speak to Aisling "sorry, I'll be as quick as possible"

Aisling replies "That's ok I've got some work to be getting on with"

With that Jill turns and walks to the emergency room where some lad had fallen off his bmx bike she orders x-rays and cleans up the cuts and grazes he lucky it's not worse as he wasn't wearing a crash helmet.

Meanwhile Aisling still sat in the office has got her books out and is underlining and writing notes in the boarders when she hears footsteps coming along the corridor which stops outside its sister Brigid.

"Why did no-one tell me you were here" questioned the sister

"Well we were supposed to be gone by now only mums dealing with an emergency" replied Aisling. Sister Brigid was one of the reasons she hardly came to the royal she had always treated her differently from the other Ormerod children. She had been tougher yet she had also wrapped her in cotton wool and Aisling despised her for that. She could tell she was thinking something now the sister kept on glancing at the paperwork and then at her. Aisling just wanted to get out of there wishing her mum would materialise out of no-where and everything would be alright.

"So what are you doing here then" asked sister

"Well I'm trying to revise" snapped Aisling before adding "and when mums finished were supposed to be going to the library in town" she turned back to her books and was pretending to read hoping she would get the hint. Well anyone else would but sister Brigid walked in and sat down you can tell she didn't trust her. A couple of times Sister tried to make conversations only for Aisling to either grunt or not reply at all. Aisling was finding it harder and harder to concentrate for the past half an hour sister had been rambling on about her day and telling stories about Moira, she made to get up saying she needed a drink. With that she walked out the door went to reception and walked outside.

Jill had got the results of the x-ray the young lad had broken his arm as expected she informed the nurse who proceeded to plaster it and then he was allowed on his way with strict instructions to return if he felt dizzy or sick. Walking back down the corridor towards her office reaching the door she was shocked to find sister Brigid sat in her chair and no sign of Aisling. Sister Brigid just smiled and said "she's gone to get a drink she'll be back in a mo"

"Yes well thank you that will be all sister" said Jill "if I can get back to my paperwork then we will be off and see you tomorrow."

"Oh yes sorry doctor see you tomorrow then"

Five minutes later and Jill had just finished her notes but there was still no sign of Aisling. She was starting to get worried, packing up her bags and Aisling's things she decided to put them in the car and then look for her she was probably talking to one of the nurses.

Going out to her mini she noticed the familiar figure sitting on the wall she made her way over "are you ok sweetheart" she said softly but still making her jump.

"Yeah sorry she just keeps going on and doesn't know when to leave alone" replies Aisling

"Well are you ready" asks Jill

"Yeah but can we just go home" inquired Aisling

"Are you sure we can still get there in time" responds Jill

"Yeah I'm not in the mood I'd rather just go home I'll get the bus in tomorrow"

The journey home was a quite one a couple of times Jill had tried to ask her daughter what had gone on but she knew not to push her she'd speak when she was ready.

They got through the front door put their bags and shoes where they normally go Aisling went straight upstairs and Jill walked through to the kitchen where Gordon was preparing dinner.

"Hello love, your early wasn't expecting you for another hour" smiled Gordon

"We didn't even get there, long story tell you later" replied Jill

"Where's Ash" Gordon asked

"Upstairs she's not talking sister Brigid found her in my office while I was attending a emergency, I came back only sister was in my room, I found Ash outside upset and she wanted to come home so here we are" stated Jill.

Twenty minutes later and dinner was on the table Gordon shouted up to Aisling and Jill got the drinks ready. Aisling slowly made her way downstairs. Dinner always seemed quite these days now there was only the three of them.

"Did you have a good day" Gordon asked his daughter

"Yeah it was ok" replied Aisling

Gordon could tell she didn't want to say anything else about what had happened so didn't push the subject any more

"Have you got much homework to do" Inquired Jill

Aisling looked up she'd not made eye contact with them since Jill had found her outside

"No I've done it all. Why?" Said Aisling

Jill and Gordon looked at each other they could tell she'd been crying even though she had washed her face. "Well we thought we could play a game or watch a movie if you wanted to" Said Jill

"o.k., can we play trivial pursuit please" Aisling pleaded

"Of course you go and set it up while we wash these plates" smiled Gordon

Aisling made her way to the front room and proceeded to set up the board game while the adults talked about her while washing up.

Ten minutes later and they made their way into the front room with cups of tea in hand. Jill handed Aisling a cup and sat down next to her with Gordon the other side. They played the game for sometime every now and again laughter could be heard mostly Jill and Aisling laughing at Gordon's answers needless to say Gordon came last with Jill winning. As they were packing away Gordon was complaining that they were cheating giving him the harder questions. It was now ten o'clock Jill got up "right time for bed I think"

Aisling got up kissed her mum and dad goodnight "love you" she said

"Love you to sweetheart" both Gordon and Jill replied. They looked worryingly at each other what, had sister Brigid said.


	2. Chapter 2

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It had been one of those days both it had started with an early morning call which had resulted in Gordon leaving early, Jill had followed after dropping Aisling off, it had carried on during the day with hardly a minute to catch their breath there had been a bad accident which meant they were only leaving now. Jill and Gordon were looking forward to just getting home and being able to relax in front of the television with a drink. Unknown to them their day was only going to get worse.

They both pulled into the drive unusually for this time of night the house was all in darkness normally even if the children were in bed they would put the porch light on. They hurriedly got out of their cars forgetting to get their bags, Jill fumbled with her keys trying to find the lock with what seemed like forever but was only a few seconds. Gordon switched on the lights her bag was here so where was she. Gordon started looking downstairs while Jill went up to the bedrooms. Gordon had just made it to the kitchen when he heard his wife scream out his name, running up the stairs two at a time he reached the doorway of his daughter's bedroom. Jill turned around "she's gone, Gordon she's gone" she sobbed.

"What" a shocked Gordon replied

"She's gone" snapped Jill whilst shoving a note in his hands "she left this and some of her clothes are gone too." She continued "It's all my fault"

"No it's not" soothed Gordon whilst moving closer to give his wife a hug.

"Well she was fine until yesterday, if I hadn't of left her in my office alone none of this would have happened."

"We have to look for her I can't lose her Gordon"

"We won't I promise" replied Gordon

For the next half an hour they phoned friends and family to see if anyone knew anything they had nothing to go on sister Brigid had been busy and was going to phone them back maybe she could shine some light on their situation. Katie had come up with a few ideas about where they had been happy as kids. "Gordon" Jill said suddenly and before waiting for a reply she continued "I can't just wait here I'm going to drive around those places Katie was on about."

"That's a good idea I'll come with you" replied Gordon

"But what if sister Brigid calls or Aisling comes back it would be better if someone was here" said Jill

There was a knock at the door which made them both jump they hadn't been expecting anyone Gordon made his way to the door ready to send whoever it was away. He was shocked to see Lizzie standing there. "Come in, come in" he said they headed to the front room where Jill was.

"I've come to see if there's anything I can do" said Lizzie

"Well thank you yes, yes there is can you stay here and wait for sister Brigid to call" said Jill

"How's she going to do that she's out looking with some of the other nurses" questioned Lizzie

"What she was supposed to phone" Gordon was angry now

"Yes I know doctor but she had an idea where she would be" replied Lizzie

"Well we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for her" retorted Gordon to which Jill gave him a careful what you're saying look and asked "well if you could stay here just in case it would be helpful Lizzie"

"Yes no problem doctor, I hope you find her"

"So do I we will keep in touch by phoning every hour for updates" replied Jill whilst walking out the door and rummaging around in the cupboard looking for a blanket it was getting cold out there.


	3. Chapter 3

They had been driving around for a couple of hours now and Gordon could tell Jill was getting more and more worried her hands were clasped in tight fists on her lap but whatever he said or did was wrong so they had been driving in silence for most of it. They were near the railway station so Gordon pulled in and made his way towards the phone box it was about time to check in with Lizzie, Jill got out the car as well she needed to stretch her legs. Little did they know that Aisling was on the other side of the tracks in a little cafe staring blankly into a now cold cup of tea trying not to think of all the people she was hurting by leaving. She had bought her ticket earlier that day, the train was going to leave shortly finishing her cup of tea and putting on her coat she made her way to the door. A shiver ran down her spine as she made her way out onto the street she turned towards the railway station only to see Sister Brigid walking towards her quickly turning around hoping she hadn't seen her. It was too late sister Brigid was now walking faster and calling her name.

Aisling started to run, sister Brigid gave chase calling her name as she followed. Sister Brigid thought to herself that's strange maybe she hasn't heard me so she called louder to which Aisling turned around at the same time as running straight out into the road.

Meanwhile Jill and Gordon were making their way back to the car after hearing there was still no news. They had one more place to try before they ran out of ideas but that was all the way across town. They heard the screeching of breaks not that far away. Jill had a bad feeling about it so they decided to go in that direction instead.


	4. Chapter 3 continued

They got to the scene of the accident about ten minutes later as it was on the other side of the railway and the traffic was starting to build up. Gordon pulled in behind the ambulance the driver seemed to be fine a little shaken and bruised he was talking to the police along with sister Brigid.

Jill made her way cautiously toward the casualty and as realisation caught her that it was their daughter her legs gave way luckily Gordon was there to catch her. One of the ambulance men realising the doctors were there but not knowing that was their daughter asked for their help. Jill pulled herself together and knelt beside her smoothing her hair away from her eyes and talking gently to her telling everything was alright. They quickly checked her over to get her to hospital as quickly as possible. Jill went in the ambulance with her while Gordon followed in his car. Sister Brigid was still talking to the police so she would have to make her own way Gordon didn't want to leave his wife or daughter alone for any longer than needed. They reached the Royal about fifteen minutes later they had to go there Aisling wasn't stable enough for a longer journey. Gordon pulled up as they were wheeling Aisling through to casualty. The nurse on duty called the on call surgery staff but Jill and Gordon started without them.

They worked seamlessly together each knowing what the other was doing. They had taken x-rays; crossed matched bloods all the while the nurses were getting the operating room ready. They were all prepped and ready to go. The nurse came in notifying the on call surgeon was going to be at least another two hours he was attending another accident at Ashfordly.

Jill turned to Gordon "She can't wait that long, I'm going to do it"

Gordon replied "you can't"

"You know as well as me that if we just sit here she's going to bleed to death, I can't...I won't let that happen" stuttered Jill trying to hold back the tears.

"Right well we better get scrubbed in then Dr Weatherill" replied Gordon

They walked into the theatre telling the staff what to expect

"Right were up against a ruptured spleen, broken leg and possibly some spinal injuries" stated Gordon to the team

After a long four hours in surgery they had managed to stop the bleeding and put a cast on the leg. They had to wait and see what the specialist made about the back x-rays.

Aisling was in a side ward Jill was sat in the chair. Gordon had gone to call the other children to let them know what was happening. He walked to the side room "any change" he asked while handing Jill a cup of tea. "No, did you get hold of everyone" asked Jill

"Yes their all getting the first trains up here I said I'll pick them up but they said their meet us here" replied Gordon before adding "you look tired why don't you go rest for awhile I'll stay here and let you know of any change"

"No I need to stay here that's how all this started in the first place because I left her remember" said Jill

"It's not your fault and I'll be here, please go and rest" he pleaded

To which Jill replied "I can't leave, I'll rest here" whilst getting comfy in her chair and taking their daughters hand. Gordon knew he wasn't going to get anywhere so pulled his chair next to his wife taking hold of her free hand.


	5. Chapter 4

It was the following morning both Gordon and Jill had fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning they only woke when there was a knock at the door "come in" Jill said sleepily in walked Katie "Sorry did I wake you, is there any change"

"That's alright sweetheart, no there's no change" Jill replied.

Gordon made to get up so Katie could sit down "That's alright dad I can stand" said Katie to which Gordon replied "No you sit I'm a little stiff to tell the truth I could do with a stretch. I'll go and make us some drinks. Is that your bag?"

"Yes, I didn't know how long so I bought a few things" Replied Katie

"I'll put it in the car" stated Gordon while walking out the door. Katie sat beside Jill and placed her head on Jill's shoulder like she use to when she wanted to feel closer to her. Jill responded by putting her arm around and placing a kiss on her forehead. "Why did she go asked Katie

"We don't know yet for sure, she hasn't regain consciousness, it's got something to do with sister Brigid" there was a brief pause before she added "It's my fault if I hadn't of left her" tears were welling up in her eyes as she said this Katie didn't like it when Jill cried none of the children did.

"It's not your fault" replied Katie then quickly added "She knows we all love her very much" then seeing how much Jill was worried she said "Ash will be alright won't she"

"Of course she will she's an Omerod" Replied Gordon from the doorway with a tray of tea. Katie made to get up "You stay there I'm going to go home now that your here I have to get some things do you want anything darling" he asked to which Jill responded "A change of clothes would be nice"

"O.k. won't be long" he made his way to the door "Oh Gordon we have to make sure the kids beds are made up, please don't be long" Jill said over her shoulder "Yes I'll be as quick as possible" replied Gordon.

Jill and Katie sat in silenced for a while staring at their drinks. Katie didn't know what to say she didn't want to upset Jill any more than she was so she said "Jill do you remember the time we were on holiday and we were at the beach Tom and I had gone for a swim and Ash had followed us"

"Yes I remember" replied Jill "That was the year she'd just started walking your dad was supposed to be building sandcastles with Jonathon and Ash and I was watching you two. I had to run after you as she was following you in to the sea"

"Yeah dad never lived that one down all holiday" replied Katie

"No he didn't" Said Jill then added "She always wanted to be like her big sister"

"What about the time she wanted to be like you" retorted Katie

"What the time she wanted to be a doctor or when she wanted to come to the hospital ball"

"The hospital ball" replied Katie giggling just remembering it. At that moment Gordon walked in they hadn't noticed that two hours had already passed. "Look who I found loitering in the hallway" Gordon said and with that playfully pulled both his sons in. "Tom, Jonathon" gasped Jill

Gordon was just thinking how Jill looked a little bit calmer he was about to ask what they were giggling at but as always Katie was quick to fill them in

"We were just remembering when Ash followed Tom and I in to the sea on holiday and then we remembered when she got all dressed up in her party frock and had some of mums makeup on and her shoes"

"Because she was a big girl and wanted to go to the hospital ball" Gordon, Tom and Jonathon all butted in, in unison. Then all five of them were laughing.

They carried on for the rest of the day reliving memories. It was now half eight at night Jill let out a yawn and after some persuasion was going to go home for a proper nights rest, so was Gordon. She had kissed them all goodnight twice "Any problems call us" she said while being pushed out the door

"For the third time yes mum, now go or your be no good when she does wake up" Replied Jonathon

"Well if you're sure" said Jill

"Their be fine" Gordon said while taking her arm and walking to the car

Back at home and Jill went straight upstairs, while Gordon went and sat in the living room with a glass of scotch. Half an hour later Gordon made his way upstairs he got to their bedroom to find it empty so was their bathroom "Jill" he said slightly panicked walking back along the hallway to find Jill sat on their daughters bed silently sobbing and hugging the teddy bear they had got her for her first Christmas . He sat down beside her she leaned her head on his shoulder they stayed like that for another hour before they went to bed. Gordon knew she blamed herself and no matter what he said he could not get her to forgive herself. They fell asleep rather quickly it wasn't surprising really they had only had a couple of hours at the most in the last couple of days. They both woke early but both felt wide awake and refreshed they made their way downstairs as quickly as possible had a quick breakfast then Jill went about making lunch for the others she knew all too well the mess she would come into otherwise. Then they were out the door the sooner they got there the better as there would be less traffic when Gordon bought the kids back.

Fifteen minutes later they arrived at the hospital walking up to the room they heard laughing.

Inside they were talking about how they had fooled their parents and got away with it or so they had thought only to be found out or caught as soon as the door opened the laughing stopped "Good morning" Jill and Gordon said together "Morning" replied the Ormerod children. Jill moved towards the chart at the end of the bed whilst saying "I hope you giving your sister ideas" she then winked at them. "Right time to get going" said Gordon "Let's give your mum some time alone"


	6. Chapter 5

It had been five days since the accident the other Ormerod children had been persuaded to go back as they all had important exams coming up and besides they would be back in two or three weeks for the holidays. Gordon had gone back to work as it was busy which meant the locum only had Jill's patients to deal with. He still spent every spare minute with his wife at their daughter's bedside. Today was even busier than normal there was a multiple car pileup on the main road in. Gordon and the locum had gone to the scene of the accident which left the new doctor on his own who was already totally swamped and unable to cope.

Jill was sat holding Ash's hand while reading a medical journal when there was a knock at the door "Come in" said Jill while looking up from the paper

"Sorry doctor we need your help there's been a bad accident on the main road and more causalities than we can deal with" said Lizzie in her usual chirpy voice

"I'll be right there" replied Jill while folding the corner of the journal so she knew where she was

"Sister Brigid said she would come and sit with Ash if you like" said Lizzie

"No. That won't be necessary we'll need sister on the ward" replied Jill

"O.k., she just thought you wouldn't want to leave her on her own"

"No I don't Lizzie" replied Jill

"How about I call Matron ask if she will come and sit with her she was popping in to look over the paperwork anyway" Said Lizzie thoughtfully

"That's a good idea thanks Lizzie" replied Jill with a smile on her face that had put her mind at rest matron was like one of the family and she knew Ash trusted her.

Matron still popped in from time to time as she was still a board member and they had given her one of the nurses flats for all the years service she had given the hospital. Jill and Lizzie made to go out the room and matron was stood there "Did someone say my name" she queried "Yes matron" replied Jill then added "I'm needed and we wondered if you wouldn't mind sitting with Ash for me"

"No problem take as long as you need" replied matron

"Thank you" was all Jill had time to reply before the first stream of patients came through the door both her and Lizzie jumped into action. Matron turned with a smile and sat down.

It was an hour before matron saw anyone again it was Lizzie bringing a cup of tea it was the first time there had been a bit of a break. Matron sat there for about another three hours telling stories about the hospital and how it had changed over the years and some of the things the staff had got up to. She spoke fondly about the Omerod family she had always thought of them as family and was very proud of them all. She was always touched when they invited her around for dinner or on family occasions.

Sister Brigid bust through he door "Oh sorry matron I didn't realise anyone was in here" she said shocked

"That's alright Jill asked me to sit here come in" replied matron

"No that's alright I was just going to check everything while I had five minutes" replied sister then added "I don't think Jill will be much longer anyway Gordon's just coming in with the last patient now"

"O.k. thank you sister" replied matron.

Sister Brigid was right Jill walked through the door forty five minutes later looking exhausted she sat in the chair next to matron

"Why don't you get some rest dear I'll stay a little longer" asked matron

"No I've asked too much already" replied Jill sleepily

"Nonsense" replied matron

"Well if you're sure a few minutes wouldn't hurt" replied Jill who fell asleep to wake half an hour later feeling refreshed.

"That's better" said matron "now you stay here and I'll get us a nice cup of tea and we can have that little chat" and with that she was out the door.

Jill took her daughters hand only this time it was different her daughters hand squeezed back "Ash, sweetheart" Jill said slightly shocked she stood up and bent over her bed and with her free hand brushing her hair away from her face.

Matron came in with a tray of drinks followed by Gordon who had just finished with the last patient and was hoping for five minutes peace. Jill turned around towards the door with a smile and tears streaming down her face "She squeezed my hand, she squeezed my hand" she said joyfully

"That's great" replied Gordon and Matron. Matron then added "I'll give you some space"

"No stay, please" pleaded Jill

"Well if you're sure" replied matron

"Yes" said Jill a little too quickly

Gordon then pulled up the spare chair and they sat with their drinks talking and waiting they didn't have to wait long before Ash started to wake up.


	7. Chapter 6

Aisling started to wake up slowly confused staring at the ceiling not knowing where she was her back hurt and her leg felt heavy it was only when the familiar voice of her mum letting her know she was in the royal that she started to relax a little. Then panic set in as she realised how much trouble she would be. It was Gordon who spoke first "So what do you think you were doing young lady" Aisling didn't reply she didn't know how to put it without hurting them "Well were waiting, we've got all day" said Gordon it wasn't like him to be like this he just couldn't understand why she had done this and wanted her to know how stupid she had been. Jill gave Gordon a look which told him to back off she had only just woken up after all. "Well if we're not going to get anywhere I'm going to let everyone know she's woken up, I'll find sister Brigid as well" said Gordon they all saw the look of horror on Aisling's face as he mentioned her name. Gordon and Jill quickly glanced at each other both worried then Gordon made to go out

"I'm so sorry" sobbed Aisling Gordon turned around gave a smile and walked out it was a while before Jill and Matron could calm her down. Half an hour after Gordon had left he returned "I'm sorry Ash, it's just you scared us we just want to help" apologised Gordon "Did you get hold of them" inquired Jill "Yes their all glad you're awake and their be down soon" replied Gordon.

Then before anything else could be said Aisling blurted the whole situation out about how it had all started when sister Brigid had seen her the day before talking to a couple of Jonathon's friends and then the day in the office when she had started ranting on that she was just like her mum and that if she carried on that why she would end up the same way pregnant with a baby she doesn't want with a man who's a no good lying father and that none of this would of happened if she was living with her and how she was going to take her away for the whole of the summer holidays. "I thought I had disappointed you and you didn't want me so I thought I would save you the bother and leave earlier, so I bought my ticket then sat in the all night cafe near the station when it was time to leave I saw sister Brigid so I ran the other way she followed shouting and that's all I remember" She said with tears streaming down her face. The adults just sat shocked no-one had expected this "I'll give you some space, I'll come and see you tomorrow" said matron "And get some rest" she added with a smile. Jill followed her out and shut the door behind them "Thank-you matron for everything" "I'm just glad I could help now go back in she needs her mum and remember if you need anything you know where I am" replied matron but before Jill could go back inside sister Brigid came running around the corner "Is it true she's awake" she asked "Yes" replied Jill then matron stepped in "she's very tired and needs to speak to her mum and dad, I'm sure you can see her tomorrow" she said while taking sisters arm "Why didn't anyone say I haven't seen her since she's been here" replied sister Brigid "Well she needs her rest and one more day won't hurt" said matron while leading sister Brigid the way she had come. Matron turned her head to see Jill mouthed thank-you then take a deep breath before entering the room. Gordon had managed to calm an exhausted Aisling down who had just dozed off. "It's been a long day" said Jill "Yes" replied Gordon "Let's go home she won't be awake until morning" he added they both kissed their daughter goodnight.

Back at home they were both sat on the sofa with a glass of wine trying to make sense of everything that had been said but it only left them with more questions.


	8. Chapter 7

The following day as they made their way as usual separately to the hospital Gordon got his notes from Lizzie and Jill went straight through the locum was still covering for her. They both went into their daughters room she was awake and eating breakfast "Morning mum, dad" she said "Morning" they both replied "How are you this morning" Jill asked while looking at her chart "I'm o.k. a little stiff" Aisling replied "Any pain" asked Gordon who was already sitting down "A little, when can I go home" asked Ash "Well we have to see" replied Gordon. Aisling looked worried maybe sister Brigid was right maybe they didn't want her Jill must of read her mind because she added "Ash sweetheart look at me" Ash looked her mum in the eyes "It's not that we don't want you home it's that you've done some damage to your back that's why you've got that brace on until the specialist can take a look and tell us what to do it's safer for you if you stay here" said Jill, Gordon added "We all love you so much and don't want anything bad to happen to you" There was a knock at the door it was Lizzie "Your first patients here doctor" "O.k. thank-you Lizzie" replied Gordon

"Hello Ash nice to see you awake I've got some magazines at reception for you I'll bring them in next time I'm going by I know how boring these places can be" Said Lizzie

"Thanks" replied Aisling and with that Lizzie left "Well I'll leave you two to it then" said Gordon shutting the door behind him Jill went and sat down "You know you can tell me anything" said Jill "Yes mum, I know if so sorry, I never meant to hurt any of you" tears were already starting to form she wasn't ready to talk yet "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she was crying now Jill moved to give her daughter a cuddle calming her down and then she fell silent and the tears slowed she had fallen asleep Jill stayed like that for a few more minutes then gently laid her down and pulled the covers up her face was still all blotchy from crying. Jill made herself comfy and got about to ready the medical journal from the other day. It was about half past ten when matron gently knocked on the door and peered in. Jill was pleased to see her she needed to talk and matron was the perfect person it was surprising really at one time she would of done anything not to ask for matrons help but they had grown close over the years. What they didn't know was that Aisling had woken up shortly after matron had arrived she had pretended to be asleep she wasn't ready to talk but now she felt even worse. She now knew her mum blamed herself and had even heard her crying. She knew they needed to understand but the thing was how could they understand when even she didn't she didn't know how to put it. She knew she had lost their trust and maybe even their love. She just wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

Aisling was growing restless her leg was beginning to ache so she moved slightly. Jill and matron stopped talking they thought she was waking up. Matron told Jill to go and freshen up as she didn't want Ash to see her like this she kissed Ash on the forehead and told her she would be back shortly.

Matron was called out there was a telephone call. Aisling was now on her own she opened her eyes and stretched she reached for a piece of paper and pen and tried to write down her feelings and reasons for running trying to make sense of it all she knew this was the only way to make it better. Sister Brigid walked in to check her temperature and pulse she wasn't expecting her to be on her own let alone awake "You stupid, stupid, selfish little girl what do you think you were playing at" She shouted. One of the nurses in the corridor heard her shouting and ran to fetch either doctor. Aisling managed to pull herself out of bed and hobbled towards the door sister Brigid tried to block her way but Aisling managed to push her out of the way and get past. Meanwhile the nurse had found both Jill and Gordon discussing a patient at reception they ran towards their daughter's room only to find her hobbling towards them. Jill caught her just in time before she collapsed into a heap on the floor "It's alright sweetheart" said Jill soothingly whilst Gordon helped them get up "Let's get you back to bed young lady" said Gordon

Jill and Gordon looked at each other they needed to talk to sister Brigid before anymore damage was done. Aisling was exhausted but she needed to talk to them

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry" said Aisling

"Don't talk, just rest we'll talk later" said Jill "Mum" replied Ash "Yes sweetheart" replied Jill

"It's not your fault, I was confused" said Ash sleepily "Sshh just sleep" said Jill while smoothing her hair "We'll talk later" said Gordon "Love you" said Ash "We love you to" replied Jill and Gordon.

"I'll be back at lunchtime" said Gordon "Maybe we could go outside it will be more private" replied Jill "Good idea, I'll see if I can get a wheelchair" said Gordon.

An hour later and Gordon returned as promised with a wheelchair Aisling had woken up a few minutes beforehand "What's that for" she inquired "We thought we would have lunch outside if you're up to it" replied Gordon. Aisling looked at both parents and nodded excitingly. They made their way into the garden it was quite even though it was a lovely day. They sat in silence having their lunch for a while. Aisling hadn't touched a thing she was just picking at a sandwich Jill noticed this and asked "Are you alright, you've hardly eaten a thing" "Yeah I'm fine" replied Ash "Are you in pain we can go back inside if you want" ask Gordon "A little bit but I want to stay" replied Ash. Jill and Gordon glanced at each other worried she was over doing it "Well let us know when you've had enough" said Jill a little concerned.

All of a sudden Aisling blurted out "Don't be nice I don't deserve it, it's all my fault so don't blame yourself mum"

Jill and Gordon moved towards their daughter each taking a hand they knew she was ready to talk they hadn't been expecting it yet "I was confused after what sister Brigid said, I felt lost, like I wasn't me anymore it's silly I know that now" Ash paused to take a drink "I thought if I saw my dad got to know him for myself it might become clearer... and I thought you didn't want me around... I thought leaving would be best for everyone as I would let you down or disappoint you sooner or later so I thought if I left it would save you all the pain and grief. I never meant to hurt you I'm so sorry can you ever forgive me" tears were streaming down her face Jill's free hand was wiping away tears "We will always love you no matter what" said Jill moving her daughters head so they were looking eye to eye "You understand we will always love you, you can never disappoint us" she added "You know you can always come and talk to us about anything" added Gordon

Aisling took a deep breath then said "Yes, I'm so sorry" she knew sorry was never going to be enough no matter how many times she said it, she realised she had hurt her mum and dad more than she had thought and she was still hurting them now. "Can we go back now" Ash asked "Of course we can" replied Gordon They went back to the room and got Ash back into bed "Nothing's ever going to be the same again is it" asked Ash "It will but it will take time" replied Jill "Now get some rest me and your dad need to chat, we'll be in his office if you need us" she added "O.k. thanks... mum, dad I am really sorry" said Ash "We know, now get some rest, I'll be back later to check on you" said Jill


	9. Chapter 8

Today was Jill's first day back work following Aisling's accident Jill and Gordon had gone in early to discuss a patient of Jill's who was coming in today when the phone rang it was the orthopaedic surgeon from Ashfordly general. They both went through to Gordon's office to take the call. The surgeon went on to say that it was in her best interest to have the operation. He then went on to say exactly what would happen, the risks approximately how long it would take and how long it would take to recover. He then added that they would do the operation at the Royal first thing tomorrow morning. After he had finished Jill and Gordon sat there for a while a little shocked and worried for their little girl how were they going to tell her would it be better coming from another doctor or from them before they could make a decision there was a knock at the door "Come in" said Gordon "Sorry doctors it's just you're first patients are here" replied Lizzie

"No problem, we'll talk later Jill" said Gordon. Jill then gave Gordon a peck on the cheek and followed Lizzie out into reception. Jill had finished here list of patients early "Lizzie do you know if matrons back yet" ask Jill "I think she got back half an hour ago, she went out into the garden" replied Lizzie "Thanks" said Jill who went off in search of matron. She found her sitting on a bench looking out to sea "Hello matron" said Jill "Oh hello Jill" replied matron "Do you mind if I join you" asked Jill "No not at all" said matron "Is everything alright" asked Jill "Don't worry about me, you've got enough going on" replied matron "Well to tell the truth I rather think about something else" said Jill. So for awhile matron talked about the telephone call she had received and why she had left but then as always she managed to bring the subject back to Jill she knew her all too well that she needed to talk. Jill had recently found it easier to talk to matron than her own mother. Matron was more understanding especially when it came to the children. Matron was now up to date with everything that had happened "I'll talk to sister Brigid. It will be better coming from me, we all know she can be a bit over protective and it wouldn't do Aisling any good if you're all fighting over this" said matron as always making perfect sense "And as for Aisling... I think it would be best coming from you and Gordon she trusts you both so she knows whatever you tell her it's in her best interest." Added matron "Yes you're right thank you" replied Jill "Well it's no good sitting here we better get back before someone misses you" smiled matron. They walked back to the hospital "Are there you are" said Gordon as they walked through the door "We've been having a little chat" replied matron "Everything alright" ask Gordon worried "Yes everything is fine, now I'm going to find sister Brigid, you go and talk to Ash" said matron. Gordon looked at Jill as matron walked passed and up the corridor "I'll explain on the way" said Jill leading the way. She had just finished explaining when they reached the door "Well that makes sense" said Gordon "What would we do without matron to reason with us" replied Jill. They walked into the room to find the bed empty. Panic set in Jill looked at Gordon then their eyes were drawn to a movement in the corner of the room. Aisling was writing down notes she never had been good at just sitting doing nothing. Jill and Gordon both gave a sigh of relief "What do you think you're doing" said Jill sternly which made Aisling jump she looked up from her work to see both of her worried parents faces "Revising there's not enough room on the bed" then she added "I will be out of here in time for exams? Won't I" "Well we'll have to wait and see come and sit over here we've got something we need to talk about" said Gordon "What's wrong what have I done" asked Aisling "you've done nothing wrong we just need to chat" replied Jill "What...what is it" asked Ash "Well you know we said you had hurt your back" replied Gordon "Yes" said Ash "Well we've talked to the specialist this morning and they say the best thing is to have an operation" stated Gordon "No. No I won't" replied Ash. Jill moved into cuddle and comfit her but she moved away "Ash, sweetheart it really is the best option for you" replied Jill soothingly "No I don't want it" replied Ash "If you don't have it you could get worse and be in a lot more pain" replied Gordon "But what about my exams I won't be out in time if you do the operation will I?" said Ash "No you won't" replied Gordon "What if I have it done after exams then" replied Ash she was trying to reason with her parents even though she knew they were right deep down. "Ash you need this straight away, it's booked for tomorrow, you will only get worse otherwise" said Gordon. This time Jill moved into cuddle and Ash went straight into her open arms and cried "It's for the best I'll see what I can do about you're exams. I'm not promising anything but I'll see if you can do them here" Said Jill "You would do that for me" questioned Ash "I would do anything for you we both would" replied Jill. Then Gordon explained everything about the operation Ash needed to know "Will you be there as well" Ash asked after she they had made sure she had understood everything else "No but we'll be here when you wake up" replied Jill "Right I've got to finish my ward rounds" stated Gordon "O.k. I'll wait here for you" replied Jill "Can you test me on science" questioned Ash as Gordon left the room "For a little while then you have to get some rest" said Jill "Until dad gets back then please mum please" pleaded Ash "O.k. until you're dad gets back now where's the book" said Jill "Thanks mum" replied Ash while picking the book off the floor and passing it to Jill.

A little while later and Gordon arrived back at Aisling's room "I'm sorry visiting time is over, the patient needs her rest" He joked "Dad just a little while longer please" said Ash "No we said until you're dad came back" said Jill closing the book "We can do more tomorrow night" Said Gordon "Now goodnight" said Jill tucking her in and kissing her on the forehead "Night mum and thanks, I love you" said Ash "Love you too" replied Jill. Gordon then done the same "Goodnight sleep tight" he said "Night dad love you" replied Ash "Love you too" said Gordon "Now lights out" said Jill taking the books away she knew all too well that as soon as they left Aisling would be out of bed and reading again otherwise.


	10. Chapter 9

The day of the operation Jill and Gordon had gone in early neither of them had slept very well. They had been talking about what Ash had said in the garden and how she seemed a bit happier it had helped them to understand a bit more and Jill didn't seem to blame herself as much. They arrived at the Royal early Gordon went straight to Ash were as Jill went to her office to deal with the post and drop off her coat and bag, she then went to check everything was set up right for the operation which would be happening in less than half an hour. She then went to her daughter's room.

Gordon was trying to keep Ash calm the anaesthetists had just been in to give Ash her pre-meds and she was worried she wouldn't see her mum. Ash calmed down straight away the second she saw Jill walk through the door "Good morning, everything alright" asked Jill "It is now, where have you been" asked Gordon "Just checking everything was ready" replied Jill. This was her way of dealing with things trying to keep busy to keep her mind off things and make sure every possibility was covered should the worst happen. While they were having the conversation Jill had moved over and was gently rubbing her thumb across the back of her hand keeping her calm. Ash was already starting to drop off when the porters came in to take her down to the operating theatre Jill and Gordon walking by her side even though she wouldn't have known. They stood outside the doors looking in "She'll be fine" said Gordon putting an arm around Jill "I know, I just can't help but worry" replied Jill then at quick look at her watch confirmed her thoughts "We've got to get to morning surgery" she added.

Jill kept herself busy all morning it was only when Gordon knocked on the door that she realised it was lunchtime "Inside or out" asked Gordon "Outside, any news" Jill asked while finishing her notes and putting the lid on her fountain pen "They said it's all going well and will be at least another few hours" replied Gordon. They were sat outside when Lizzie came running over "Sorry doctors, I need one of you to make an emergency visit" she said slightly out of breath "I'll go" said Jill getting up and following Lizzie who was giving her the address and patient notes as they entered the hospital Jill went straight to her office and grabbed her bag and coat and left again. Gordon followed in after picking up the lunch remains which he put in his office then he went to start his ward rounds he done Jill's at the same time as he didn't know how long she would be on the visit. Gordon was just about finishing when he was interrupted by a nurse who had come to tell him Aisling was in recovery. He went to reception to phone Jill. Lizzie had just found the number under a pile of paperwork "Here you are doctor" said Lizzie "Thank you Lizzie" replied Gordon he was just entering the number when Jill walked through the door "Jill" said Gordon surprised "Yes Gordon" replied Jill "Ash is in recovery" said Gordon "Oh well I'll just dump this and I'll be there" said Jill moving towards her office "I'll meet you in a minute I've just got to finish the ward round" replied Gordon "Yes of course tell sister I'll do mine when you've finished" said Jill "I thought to save time I'd do it with mine" said Gordon "You shouldn't of but thank-you" replied Jill who then gave Gordon a peck on the cheek. They parted ways at the recovery room Jill made her way to Ash's side she was still asleep. Jill sat down next to her and took her hand and waited. It wasn't long before she started to wake the nurse came along to take her pulse and blood pressure.

"Hello sweetheart" said Jill "Hi mum" said Ash sleepily she fell asleep again as they wheeled her back to the side ward they met Gordon in the corridor "How's she doing" asked Gordon "Everything looks fine" replied Jill still holding Ash's hand walking along beside her. "Good, good I'll be back in a minute" replied Gordon waving the notes so Jill knew he was going to file them and be straight back she nodded as they parted ways. Gordon was back in next to no-time Ash was still asleep. It was getting late Jill and Gordon decided to go home the nurses would phone if there was any problems.


	11. Chapter 10

The following day was a pretty quite one. It was mid-morning when Jill had a phone call from the school. Lunchtime Jill went and found Gordon then they made their way to Ash's room. Ash was sat up and reading when they walked in. "Hello" said Gordon Ash winced she hadn't heard them come in and had jumped "Hello" she smiled "is it that time already " she added as she glanced at the lunch box and flask in her dad's hand "Yes and we've got some news" said Jill "what is it can I go home" asked Ash excitedly "No not for a few more days" replied Gordon "ohh" said Ash disappointed "Are you going to let me tell you or are you going to keep guessing" laughed Jill "No I'll listen" said Ash "That's better I talked to your school today and they agreed you can do your exams here as long as we say you're fit enough" said Jill "That's brilliant" replied Ash excited again "Don't get to excited there are a few rules" added Jill "What are they" asked Ash "One either me or your dad have to be here plus a teacher, Two no talking during exam times, Three no one from school can come and visit until all exams are completed and finally you will be under normal exam conditions during the exam" said Jill "Oh well thanks for trying" said Ash "What do you mean" asked Gordon "Well a teacher won't come here every day and you and mum can't give up that much time either" replied Ash "So you want me to cancel then" said Jill "You mean you would do this for me" asked Ash "Of course we can we figured if it's in the afternoon one of us will be here and the other will do both ward rounds" said Gordon "When do we start" Ash asked "Not for a couple of days and it's science first" said Jill "Right we've got to get back" said Gordon getting up "Get some rest" said Jill "I've got to revise" said Ash "No you've got to rest will be back and help you revise for a couple of hours until then I'm taking the books" said Jill "No please mum" pleaded Ash "If you don't rest enough you won't be well enough and we won't let you take the exams" said Gordon "O.k. I promise I'll rest just leave one book please" pleaded Ash "No" said Gordon "We're not arguing about this, that is the final answer" said Jill "O.k. I'm sorry" said Ash. With that Jill and Gordon left the room taking all the books it was four hours until Ash saw her parents again "How are you doing" asked Jill "I'm o.k. just a little sore" replied Ash while Jill checked her chart with Gordon looking over her shoulder "You can have some more pain relief" said Gordon "No I'm alright for now, maybe later" replied Ash.

They got down to some revision they had decided to make it more fun by making it a competition but it turned out to be more like when they played trivial pursuit. Jill and Ash laughing at Gordon's answers "Oh don't make me laugh it hurts" said Ash tears streaming down her face from where she had been laughing too hard and the pain. Jill looked worried and asked "Where does it hurt and do you want so pain killers" "Yes please, it just pulls everything" said Ash. While Jill checked the stitches to make sure none of them had pulled Gordon went off in search of Sister to get the medication.

The truth was it did hurt physically but also mentally last time they had laughed this much was the night before all this had happened and the thoughts were whirling around her head about what she had done and how she had hurt the people she cared for most in the world. Before she knew it tears were streaming down her face. Jill sat down next to her and gave her a cuddle "sshhh it's alright" Jill soothed "I'm so ssssorry" sobbed Ash "It's alright" smiled Jill trying to sooth Ash. Gordon walked in and handed Ash the tablets "This will make it better" to which Ash replied "No it won't" which shocked both Jill and Gordon. Gordon then moved and sat the other side of Ash and put his arm around both of them Jill gave Gordon a worried look to which Gordon replied with a tense smile "Why won't it" asked Gordon "It's just this reminded me of the other night and I wish so much I could go back and change it and for a second it was almost like I could. It's stupid I know" said Ash "It's not stupid at all" said Jill "To tell you the truth I was having the same thoughts" she added "So was I" admitted Gordon, Ash smiled "Thanks for understanding" said Ash not feeling so stupid now "That's what we're here for" said Gordon "Right that's enough for tonight, we'll see you in the morning good night" said Jill giving Ash a kiss on the forehead "oh no please stay" said Ash "Yes goodnight sweetheart, sweet dreams" said Gordon whilst kissing Ash on the forehead and getting her to lay down. Then they both tucked her in "Love you" said Ash "Love you too" replied Jill and Gordon. Gordon picked up the books and followed Jill into the corridor. "I'm really worried about her" said Jill "I know but she'll be fine I promise" replied Gordon giving Jill a cuddle


	12. Chapter 11

The next couple of weeks went by without much of a problem Gordon and Jill took it in turns to sit with Ash during examinations normally doing their paperwork so after they could spend as much one on one time with Ash. After all the exams were done Ash was given the all clear to return home. She was looking forward to be going home and the fact that her siblings were coming home for the holidays. Her leg was still in plaster and would be for at least another week but at least her friends could come and visit now. Ash had packed her bag and had been ready to go since breakfast Jill and Gordon wouldn't be ready to take her home until the end of the day. They had come and seen her at lunch time she was now on her own again sat on the bed looking at her watch every five minutes or so wishing the time away every time she heard footsteps she was hoping it was one of her parents who had found time to drop her home. She got one of her sketch pads and a pencil out hoping this would help kill time because even if it was as soon as possible it would still be a few hours but she knew all too well you could never be sure. Ash was looking around the room for inspiration of what to draw when there was a knock at the door "come in" said Ash staring out the window "I hear your going home today I'm going to miss are little chats" said Matron "So will I and thanks for all your help" replied Ash "That's what I'm here for any time" said Matron then added "To tell the truth I've rather enjoyed having something useful to do". Matron and Ash talked for a few minutes then Matron said "I'll leave you to it" nodding at the sketch book "No don't worry I was only trying to pass the time I don't even know what I was going to draw" replied Ash "It's a nice day why don't you go outside" said Matron "That's a brilliant idea why don't you come with me" said Ash "If you're sure" matron replied "Yes" said Ash with a big beam on her face "I'll just leave a note in case mum or dad come back" said Ash whilst quickly scribbling the note. They made their way to the garden "So what's you're favourite view" Ash asked matron "I don't know I've never thought about it before" replied Matron then added "what's yours?" "I've always like the front with the sea in the back ground" Ash said she then she flipped a couple of pages back in her sketch pad and showed matron the picture she had drawn of the royal "That's brilliant" said matron "Thanks" said Ash turning red she didn't think she was very good at drawing and as a result didn't show anyone her pictures. "I think that's my favourite view I've never looked at it that way before" said matron "What else have you drawn?" questioned matron "Not a lot the rest of them are just doodles" replied Ash "Do you want to have a look" asked Ash "Yes please" replied Matron.

Matron took the sketch pad and turned to the first page and made her way through to the last picture which wasn't finished of the Ormerod family and staff from the royal at a birthday party and next to it was the photo she was working from. Ash had explained the other pictures which were of buildings around town or shells she had found on the beach or flowers from the garden but when matron reached the last one she said nothing. "And what's this then" asked Matron. "That was Dads birthday about eight years ago it's not finished yet" replied Ash "I can see that but everyone is pencilled in apart from you why" said Matron "I don't know I hadn't got round to that bit yet" Ash tried. The truth was she wanted to see what it looked like without her. "But you've pencilled your mum in only you're not stood in front of her with her arms around you why?" questioned matron. Ash didn't have time to think of an answer this was why she didn't show anyone her pictures plus everything she did at the moment was being analysed. Luckily or unluckily for her neither of them had seen Jill walking up to them "And what are you two up to then" said Jill "Ash has just been showing me her wonderful pictures" said Matron "Ohh can I have a look" Said Jill sitting down to join them "If you want there only doodles and some are not finished" said Ash. She was worried now what would her mum think of the last picture but she couldn't say no because that would hurt her mums feelings and she'd hurt her enough already. Matron handed the Sketch pad to Jill, Ash was getting more and more nervous as Jill made her way through. She got to the picture of the royal when Ash said "That's it the rest aren't finished yet" trying to take the book from Jill but it was too late Jill had turned the page and was staring at the picture "Mum, it's not finished you weren't meant to see it yet" said Ash

Jill got up and walked towards the hospital numb why did Ash keep doing this hurting her so. She could hear Ash screaming for her pleading for her to come back so she could explain but she kept on walking she needed Gordon. Gordon was making his way to the garden after walking into Ash's room and seeing the note he could hear Ash's screams and started to run when he saw Jill walking towards him crying he took her in his arms and they went and sat in the conservatory. Jill showed him the picture "Where is she" said Jill through the tears "Well it's not finished" said Gordon "But everyone else is there" replied Jill they were silent for a while then Jill said "Everyone but her" "Well not everyone" said Gordon he had been studying the picture very carefully "What" said Jill "Well where's sister Brigid" replied Gordon "And where's your arms" he added "I think she simply hasn't finished yet" said Gordon trying to console his wife "I've over reacted haven't I" said Jill "Well it's to be expected after what we've been through I would of come to the same conclusion if I hadn't had the time to look" said Gordon "Now let's get are little girl home" he said getting up and putting out a hand for Jill to hold he then wiped away the tears and gave a peck on the cheek they then made their way to the bench Ash had been sat on when Jill had left her but it was empty now. "Gordon" said Jill worried.


	13. Chapter 12

Ash had gone back to the room and was pulling everything out of the neatly packed bag "Where is it... Where is it" she muttered. "Ash what are you looking for" asked matron who was stood in the doorway. "I've got to make her see" was Ash's reply which left matron none the wiser "Make who see what" asked matron hoping for a better response "I can't find it" said Ash "I 'm sure it was here this morning" she added tears were starting to form matron sat her down on the bed "Ash look at me I can help you if you tell me what you're looking for" matron said calmly "The other sketch pad" sobbed Ash "Right" said matron who then went to the bag and started to look for it meanwhile Jill and Gordon had hurried into the hospital looking for Ash. They knew matron wouldn't let her go; they arrived at the room which now looked like a bomb had gone off "What's going on here" Said Gordon both he and Jill relieved that she was still here. "I've lost something" said Ash then added "It will help explain things" "What is it?" asked Jill "A sketch pad" replied matron who was now folding clothes having emptied the bag "Maybe it's caught up with the pile of books in my room" said Gordon "It's alright we're find it, it can't of gone far" he added. Jill and Gordon went to look in his office while Ash cleaned up her mess and matron went off to make everyone a sweet cup of tea she thought everyone could do with it to calm their nerves, she knew she could. They all arrived back at the room about five minutes later "Is this what you're looking for" asked Gordon "Yes, thanks" smiled Ash "Are you going to tell us what all this is about" said matron puzzled "It was suppose to be a surprise for mum and dad" said Ash "What was" asked Jill "Here" said Ash passing over the sketch pad opened at a page "I was going to give you this for Christmas I was going to make a collage of your favourites pictures but I was going to draw them so I didn't cut up you're photos, the picture you saw wasn't finished but if you turn the page you will see one that is".

Jill turned the page "it's brilliant" beamed Jill tears of joy in her eyes. Jill had turned over to her favourite picture of the family it was the one she kept on her desk. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" said Ash "Come here" said Jill opening her arms "It's a lovely idea, I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion" said Jill "It's my fault, I'm sorry" said Ash "I'm sure it will be amazing when it's finished" said Jill "So do I" said Gordon "There's no point you've seen it now" said Ash "We've only seen some of it, we have no idea what else is going to be in it and we would love to see the final outcome wouldn't we Jill" said Gordon "Yes I don't think I can wait until Christmas" replied Jill "I don't know" said Ash "You've got to finish it" replied matron "It would be a shame not to after all your hard work" she added. Ash took the sketch pads back she opened one up and ripped the picture of the royal out and gave it to matron "I want you to have this as a thank-you for all you've done for us" said Ash "Thank-you I know just where to put this" replied matron with a smile on her face. They finished their drinks while Gordon looked at some of the other sketches "Right home I think" said Jill.


	14. Chapter 13

They arrived home Jill and Ash followed Gordon's car onto the drive. Given the choice Ash always would choose Jill's car this was because Ash had always been closer to her mum they had some of their best chats in the car alone and also because she had a better taste in music. Gordon had got out the car and opened the front door when he came back to help Jill with the bags "How are we doing?" he asked "O.k. I think a little sore it was a bit bumpy and uncomfortable" replied Jill "Well let's get you in and comfy" said Gordon smiling at Ash. Although she didn't like to admit it the journey had taken more out of her then she would like to admit. Jill followed Ash into the front room they got her on the sofa and put the television on "Do you want anything? Dinner will be ready in about forty minutes" said Jill "No I'm fine thanks" replied Ash "Well you can have your dinner in here on a tray" said Gordon "No" replied Ash "No special treatment please" she begged. They were never allowed to eat in the front room they had to eat all their meals at the dining room or kitchen table. Jill and Gordon left her to get settled "Just shout if you need anything" said Jill as she reached the doorway "O.k. thanks" said Ash who was already starting to feel her eyelids getting heavy. About fifteen minutes later when the dinner was in the oven Jill went to check on Ash who was sound asleep looking uncomfortable on the sofa so she gently removed her shoes and put her feet up, found a blanket and put that over her. She then went to find Gordon who was finishing some notes in the study. She stood in the doorway for a minute then walked over and handed him the glass of wine she had poured for him "How is she" he asked "She's sound asleep" replied Jill "Dinners going to be about half an hour" she added and then left him to it she didn't even wait for a response. Jill then set the table and then went and sat in the front room being careful not to wake her. She then sat down in the chair and switched the television off and picking up a medical journal from the coffee table. Twenty five minutes later she got up to check on dinner which was ready she called Gordon who went and woke Ash up. Jill was bring the last plate through as Ash made her way to the table Gordon was just behind her because she seemed a little unsteady. As she sat in the chair she winced. The pain was starting to get unbearable although she wouldn't let on. They had been sat at the table for ten minutes Jill and Gordon had just about finished and were deep in conversation. Ash had only eaten half and for the last five minutes been pushing food around her plate when all of a sudden she asked "Please may I be excused" Jill and Gordon both looked up "Yes of course you can, is everything alright?" asked Jill seeing Ash had hardly touched her food and was looking rather pale "I'm fine just a little tired" Ash lied "Goodnight love you" she added. "Yes goodnight, love you too" replied Gordon "I'll be up in a minute to make sure you've got everything" said Jill. "O.k." said Ash she didn't have the energy to tell her not to bother as she made her way up stairs she could hear Jill and Gordon talking they were really worried about her, how could she put their minds at rest she was already hiding the pain from them. Jill and Gordon decided to give her a few minutes to get herself sorted this would be the first time she had been in her room since the accident they cleared the dinner table and started the dishes. As they were washing up Jill suddenly said "I'm really worried about her I think there's something that she's not telling us" "We can only hope she'll tell us in her own time if we push her to hard who knows what will happen" replied Gordon "I know you're right but I can't help but worry" replied Jill "Well all we can do is let her know we're here and you never know maybe the others being here might help, she might even talk to one of them" said Gordon. "Yes you're right, we need to be as normal as possible" said Jill. When they had finished Jill made her way upstairs with a glass of water and some pain killers. Ash was already in bed trying to read "Ash sweetheart, here you are" said Jill handing over the tablets and water "Thanks" smiled Ash "Is everything alright, do you need anything else" questioned Jill "Yeah I'm fine just tired, no I don't think so" replied Ash "Well you know where we are if you do, any time" replied Jill taking the glass and the book and putting them on the table, she then gave her a kiss on the forehead "Goodnight, sweetheart" Jill said "Night mum" replied Ash Jill made her way out switching off the light as she went she closed the door but left it slightly ajar so they would be able to hear if Ash made any sound. She made her way back downstairs and found Gordon on the sofa who was watching the news he had made them both a cup of tea "She's in bed, I've given her some medication" said Jill as she sat next to him, Gordon put his arm around her and she leaned in and put her head on his shoulder, it wasn't long before they went up to bed they too were tired as they hadn't had a proper night's sleep since that fateful day. They made their way up quietly so not to wake Ash as they made their way past they poked their heads in to check on her it was a great weight off their minds to have their little girl back safe in their house they were never going to let her out of their sights again one of them was going to know where she was every minute of the day.


	15. Chapter 14

All of them got the best night's sleep they had had for weeks, Jill had got up once to check on her through the night because she thought she had heard a sound but Ash was sleeping peacefully so Jill didn't disturb her, the next time she woke was when the alarm clock was going off, they got up and got ready then made their way downstairs. Jill made breakfast, while Gordon made the drinks "Ash breakfasts ready" shouted Gordon from the kitchen "There's no need to shout I'm just here" replied Ash making her way down the last steps "Sorry, how did you sleep?" said Gordon "Alright thanks, did someone come in my room" queried Ash "Yes I did sorry I thought I heard something did I wake you" said Jill "No I was awake anyway I had just moved because my leg was a bit achy sorry I didn't mean to wake you" replied Ash "That's alright as long as it wasn't pain" replied Jill with a smile. They sat there having breakfast "So what have you got planned for today?" asked Gordon "Well I thought I would start with a run along the beach, then come back and have a nice long bath" Joked Ash. Both Ash and Gordon burst into laughter at the look of horror on Jill's face "Ha-ha very funny, maybe it's best if I stay here this morning, or you could come into work with us" retorted Jill "No, I was going to take it easy I promise" replied Ash "Well I don't know, what do you think Gordon" said Jill jokingly "Dad" said Ash. This time it was Jill and Gordon laughing "Well I think we can leave her" said Gordon "Well we'll be back at lunchtime and phone us if you need anything" said Jill. "O.k. mum can you help me with something before you go" said Ash "Yes of course, you go on up I'll be there in a minute" replied Jill. Jill cleaned the breakfast table and washed the dishes while Gordon went upstairs and finished getting ready he came back down and took over the drying up. Jill gave him a peck on the cheek "I'll see you at work later" she said "Yes see you later" replied Gordon. Jill made her way upstairs she had just reached Ash's room when she heard the front door close "So what can I do for you?" asked Jill "Can you help me get some clothes out please" asked Ash "Yes, yes of course I should of thought" replied Jill. When they had chosen the clothes "Is there anything else" asked Jill "No I think I'm alright thanks mum" replied Ash "Right well I'll see you later then" said Jill "Remember you can't have a medicine until lunch and call if you need anything" she added "Yes I'll be fine, you don't want to be late" replied Ash "Well if your sure I can always go in later" replied Jill "Yes I'm sure, now go" replied Ash. Five minutes later and Jill was out the door somewhat reluctantly she wasn't sure leaving her alone was the best thing to do, when she got to the hospital Gordon was making tea "Hello, everything alright" he said "Yes, I'm just not sure we've done the right thing" replied Jill "I know but she has to know we trust her" replied Gordon "I know, I know I just can't get this feeling out my head that I'm missing something" said Jill "It's only for today Katies back tonight don't forget" replied Gordon "Yes I know talking about that we need to go shopping tonight you know how much the boy's eat" said Jill before they could decide who's turn it was Lizzie interrupted them "Sorry doctors there's a phone call for you" "I'll take it Lizzie thanks" said Gordon they quickly made their way to Gordon's office, Gordon picked up the phone "Hello" He said somewhat shakily "Hi dad, it's me Katie, are you alright" she said on the other end of the phone "Yes, yes we're fine Katie" he said somewhat relieved the panic gone from Jill's face as well "Well I just phoned to let you know I'll be home around half five". Jill left Gordon to the conversation her first patients had just arrived and if she wanted to leave on time she had better get started. It was like that all morning either time one of them had a phone call or message they automatically had this bad feeling. The rest of the morning went by without too much trouble just the usual time wasters or people who didn't like to make a fuss.

Ash however had had a pretty quite morning she had managed to get dressed although it took longer than normal, she then had made her way downstairs and switched on the television just for some back ground noise she could never get use to how quite it was with no-one else around, she then made her way to where her parents kept their photos she needed at least another half a dozen if she was going to finish the collage. She had them laid out on the dining room table keeping an eye on the time she didn't want them to know anymore than they did already. She had picked out a couple and removed them from the album if she only took a couple at a time they hopefully wouldn't notice it's not like they got them out very often anyway. After switching the television off, she decided to sit outside with her sketch book, she still had to finish the one that had got her into trouble in the first place. She sat at the table near the kitchen window so she could see when Jill and Gordon arrived she didn't want them seeing the pictures and she knew they would panic if they couldn't find her if she didn't reply to their calls. So deep was her concentration she didn't hear them arrive, the first she knew they had was when Jill came walking up calling her name so she didn't have time to put it away "That's better now it's got my beautiful baby in there" said Jill brushing hair from Ash's face "Mum" whinged Ash "What you are my baby and always will be" said Jill "Mum" she winged then added "Don't say that and you're not suppose to see it yet" replied Ash "Sorry, I just can't help it" replied Jill. Gordon made his way out with a tray of lemonade "Is everything alright" he asked "Yes" replied Ash and Jill, then Jill added "I'll just go and make some lunch."

Gordon sat down at the table "What is it?" he asked "Nothing" replied Ash "Don't give me that, we know something isn't right" he replied "It's nothing really" replied Ash getting frustrated "Well if you can't talk to us can you talk to someone else please" pleaded Gordon "There's nothing to talk about" shouted Ash as she made to get up and go indoors "What all this shouting about?" said Jill making her way over with the sandwiches "Ash come and sit down and have your lunch please" said Jill. Ash turned back around and sat down again "Now is someone going to tell me what all that shouting was about then" said Jill getting angry "Nothing" said Ash "don't give me that you don't just shout for nothing" replied Jill sternly "O.k. dad said I need to talk to someone because you think there's something wrong with me" replied Ash trying to bite back the tears. "Ohh Ash sweetheart" said Jill taking her hand "We're just worried about you that's all, yes I think you're not telling us something and I don't want you to think if you feel you can't tell us that you couldn't tell someone else that's all, come here" said Jill giving Ash a cuddle and gently rubbing her back while also giving Gordon a look of disgust. They spent the rest of the time in silence "Right well we've got to get going" said Gordon getting up and taking the empty plates and glasses and going indoors "Are you going to be alright, is there anything I can get before we go" said Jill "I'll be fine, when can I take more medicine?" asked Ash "I can give you some now" said Jill getting up and going to the kitchen to fetch some "Anything else" said Jill as she handed over the pills "No thanks, I'm fine" replied Ash "Right just so you know, one of us will be back late one of us has to go shopping and Katie phoned she'll be here about half five" said Jill "O.k. thanks mum" smiled Ash "Bye Ash, come on Jill we'll be late" shouted Gordon from the kitchen door "Bye dad" shouted Ash "O.k. I'm just coming" replied Jill she then turned round and said to Ash "See you later" "Yeah see you later" replied Ash. Jill then made her way through the house and to the car where Gordon was already waiting "What did you have to go and say that for?" asked Jill as she got in the car. "I thought you two were having some sort of argument" replied Gordon "I was trying to help" he added. "I know, but we're going to have to tread carefully from now on" replied Jill leaning over and giving him a peck on the cheek. Gordon then pulled out of the drive "So what were you two talking about it looked a bit tense" asked Gordon "Ohh I saw the picture from the other day and I shouldn't have and I called her my beautiful baby" said Jill. "What that's it" replied Gordon "Yes" replied Jill "I was trying to act like normal hoping she would open up" she added "Sorry" said Gordon "Well no harm done" said Jill then she added "But for that you can go food shopping" she thought it would take more persuading but Gordon gave in rather easily "O.k. give me the list and I'll go" he replied "Are you sure" she questioned "Well I only seem to be getting it wrong with Ash at the moment, maybe it's best if you two have a little time together" he replied as they pulled into the hospital "I love you Gordon Ormerod" said Jill "And I love you Mrs Ormerod" replied Gordon taking her arm so she turned back around and giving her a kiss. They didn't see each other for the rest of the day it was only when Jill knocked on Gordon's door "Come in" said Gordon. Jill opened the door and walked in "Right I'm off, I'll see you at home" said Jill "Yes right well I'll be leaving once I've done this" replied Gordon. Jill made to go out and turned round "ohh and here you go, you didn't think I'd forgotten did you" said Jill handing over the shopping list "No of course not, I wouldn't be so lucky" replied Gordon with a chuckle.


	16. Chapter 15

Jill arrived home to the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen she put her coat and bag away and shouted "hello". Katie popped her head around the kitchen door "Hi mum" said Katie, "Hello, are you alright" said Jill making her way to the kitchen "Yeah we're fine" replied Katie. Ash was still sat at the table "Hi mum" said Ash. Jill made her way over to her and placed a hand on top of her head "And how are you doing" Jill asked "Yeah I'm fine" replied Ash "Where's dad" asked Katie "He's just gone shopping he won't be long" replied Jill. "Mum about before I'm sorry" said Ash "I'm sorry too" replied Jill. Jill and Katie then set about getting dinner ready "Can I help?" asked Ash "No I think we've got everything covered" replied Jill "Katie can you lay the table please" said Jill "I can help" said Ash "No you stay there your still suppose to be resting" said Jill "That doesn't mean I still can't help, I've been resting all day" replied Ash "It does when I say so" said Jill sternly "I'm sorry it's just so boring" replied Ash. "That's alright I'll find some things you can do for me tomorrow how does that sound" replied Jill. She knew what Ash was going through she had been exactly the same when she had been told to rest all she wanted to do was to get back to work. "Yeah" said Ash excitedly. There was a knock at the door "I'll get it" shouted Katie from the dining room making her way to the front door "I wonder who that can be we're not expecting anyone" said Jill. It was sister Brigid she had come to see Ash as she hadn't been able to see her apart from the time Ash had pushed her away and she wanted to talk to her to make sure everything was fine between them, she still didn't believe what matron had said to her that day in her eyes she had done nothing wrong.

Katie opened the door "Hello, Katie how are you" said sister Brigid "Hi" said Katie then she turned and shouted "Mum". Jill popped her head around the kitchen door "Yes" before she could say anything else she saw who it was at the door making her way out the kitchen and shutting the door behind her "Ahh, hello sister, how can we help you, Katie can you go and check on the potatoes please" said Jill giving Katie's arm a gentle squeeze as she said it. "Yes of course" replied Katie who then made her way to the kitchen, Jill turned back to sister Brigid "I've come to see Aisling" replied sister Brigid to Jill's first question "Well I'm afraid she's not up for visits" replied Jill "Yes well I'm not just anyone I'm family" replied sister Brigid trying to make her way in Jill stood firm in the way "Well like I said no visits" replied Jill she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Gordon's car pulling in the drive. Gordon got out the car leaving the shopping and walked to the two people in the doorway "Hello Sister what can we do for you" said Gordon "I've come to see Aisling, but Jill won't let me in" said Sister, Gordon didn't have time to reply as Jill said "Like I said Ash is not up for visits" "Well if Jill has said she's not up for visits, she's not I'm afraid maybe the weekend" suggested Gordon "Well o.k. doctor if you think it's best" replied sister Brigid "Tell her I popped around will you and I'll see her at the weekend" she added "Will do" said Gordon. Jill and Gordon watched sister Brigid ride down the drive "Right I'll help you with the bags" said Jill they made their way with arms full of bags into the kitchen which was now empty the back door wide open Jill and Gordon dumped the bags where they could and ran out the door they didn't have to go far. Ash had decided she couldn't face sister Brigid and had gone out the back gate and was leaning against the wall staring out to sea chatting to Katie "Don't you ever do that again" said Gordon slightly out of breath "You scared us both" added Jill taking both girls into a hug "I'm sorry it's my fault, I just can't face her yet" said Ash "Right no harm done but we've got to get the shopping put away" said Gordon making his way back towards the house followed by Katie. Jill walked with Ash who was slightly slower seeing as she still was using crutches they got to the garden table "Ash sit down here with me I need to talk to you" said Jill concern in her voice. Meanwhile Gordon and Katie were packing the shopping away "Dad, she will be alright won't she" asked Katie "Yes she'll be fine, as soon as we can get her to talk to us we're have a better understanding" replied Gordon "Is it sister Brigid" asked Katie "We know she's part of it, we've all just got to be there for her" said Gordon "O.k. dad" replied Katie "Jill and I will fill you in on the situation tonight once she's in bed, we'll do the same with the boy's when they arrive, but if she tells you anything no matter how small you must tell us" said Gordon stressing the last part "Yeah will do dad" replied Katie.

Jill and Ash were sat at the table "Ash, sweetheart you can't keep running away" said Jill "I know but I don't want to leave with her" replied Ash "I want to stay here with you" she added "Ash you're not going anywhere I promise we won't allow it" replied Jill she then added "Come here, my beautiful baby girl" "Mum" whinged Ash "I know, now I've got to get dinner dished up, do you want to give me a hand" Jill asked "Yes please" replied Ash eager to help they made their way back in as they we're dishing up "Mum, can we have a talk just us tomorrow" Ash asked all of a sudden Jill was taken aback "Yes of course we can" Jill replied "Thanks" smiled Ash "Anytime" replied Jill. They sat down to dinner to hear stories of what Katie had been doing at university when it was over Katie and Jill went to do the dishes, Gordon had gone through to the study to do some paperwork instead of doing it tomorrow. Ash was sat watching the television, she was starting to nod off so decided to go on up to bed. She said goodnight to Gordon first then went and said goodnight to Jill and Katie after Jill had checked she was alright and told her she would be up in a minute she made her way upstairs. She got a pad and paper and put it on the bedside table for later, she then got ready for bed she had just finished getting ready when Jill came up to make sure everything was o.k. and to give her, her medication. Jill then tucked her in, kissed her goodnight then left like the night before leaving the door slightly ajar. Ash then waited as she heard Jill make her way downstairs, she then heard them start talking only then did she switch on her bedside lamp, she then took the notepad and pen and started to make points about what she was going to say tomorrow. She thought this was the best way to get everything out and also help to make it clear in her own mind, Ash hadn't realised how the time had gone it was only when she heard her parents coming up the stairs she quickly dumped her pad and pan on the side and picked up a book, Jill poked her head around the door "Ash is everything alright" Jill asked concerned "Yes, I couldn't get to sleep so thought I would read for a bit" replied Ash "Right well not too much longer then" replied Jill she then made her way out shutting the door behind her. Ash put the book back and carried on making notes it didn't take that much longer to finish she just wished this would make everything clearer, she switched off the light and went to sleep she only woke up when Gordon was shouting at her that breakfast was ready she made her way down, she would need Jill's help with her clothes again "Morning" Ash said sleepily as she walked into the kitchen "Good morning" replied Gordon before turning to Jill and saying "I'll see you at work" "Yes I'll be there in a bit" replied Jill. Gordon then went and said goodbye to Katie who was sat in the front room he then left. Jill asked "How are you?" "I'm fine, just tired" replied Ash "Well maybe this list wasn't such a good idea then" replied Jill "No I want to do something, it's so boring otherwise, please I promise I won't do too much, please" begged Ash, "Well if your sure" replied Jill "Yes" replied Ash. Jill then went up and laid out some clothes then double checked everything and everyone was fine then she left.


	17. Chapter 16

Ash sat there for a while she didn't have the energy today to get up and start moving about she looked at the list that Jill had left her most of it looked easy enough, Katie came through "Hi, what are you up to" asked Katie "Not much mum's left a list of things she wants me to do" replied Ash "Let's have a look then" replied Katie. Ash passed the list over "Do you want a hand" asked Katie but before Ash could respond she added "We could do it like the old days turn the music up really loud and we'd have it done in next to no time then you can do whatever you like" Ash thought about it for a while she knew why Katie wanted to help so they could keep a close eye on her but she knew she wouldn't get half of it done today with the way she was feeling "Yeah sounds good to me, just let me get dressed" said Ash "O.k. give us a shout when you're ready" replied Katie.

Half an hour later Ash called for Katie she was finally ready Katie came into her room carrying her radio, which she tuned into the local radio station and turned the volume up. They started by tidying up their bedrooms even though Katie's room wasn't on the list they then went downstairs and tidied the front room and dining room that only left the kitchen and putting the washing out, Katie put the washing out while Ash started on the dishes, she dropped the tea towel and as she bent down to pick it up the pain became unbearable just at that moment Katie came in through the back door "Ash what's wrong" she asked panicked "I'm fine I just dropped the tea towel that's all" lied Ash "Well sit down, I'll call mum" replied Katie "No, I'm fine really" said Ash carrying on with the dishes. They finished cleaning the kitchen Ash could feel Katie watching her every move "Well that's all the jobs done what are you going to do now" said Katie "I'm going to go and do some drawing in my room, what about you" replied Ash "I was thinking about meeting some friends in town after lunch if your alright" said Katie before Ash could reply the phone rang Katie went to answer it was Jill to say they wouldn't make it back for lunch today unless they really needed them, Katie was just about to say something when Ash took the phone from her and told Jill everything was fine and that they would see them later she then put the phone down. "What did you do that for" asked Katie clearly annoyed "Because there's nothing wrong, that's why" replied Ash "Well I'll just phone her back then and we're see what she has to say shall we" replied Katie with one hand on the phone "O.k. call her back but your be wasting her time there's nothing wrong" bluffed Ash she then turned away and went upstairs to her room and got her sketch pad out, she could hear Katie on the phone five minutes later Katie knocked on her door "Come in" said Ash "Mum's on her way and she's not happy with you" said Katie "Well she'll be even angrier with you when she finds out you've wasted her time" retorted Ash "Why are you being like this" asked Katie "I'm not the one poking their nose in" said Ash. Katie could tell this was going nowhere and decided to leave her alone until Jill got there. Ash was really angry that no-one seemed to listen to her anymore, she hated Katie for telling Jill and she hated the fact that she couldn't go very far without someone being with her or knowing exactly where she was, she wasn't in the mood to draw anymore but she left it out so she could pretend that was what she had been doing before being rudely interrupted, she laid on her bed staring at the ceiling hating the fact that she had just had an argument with Katie for no reason she was only doing what Mum and Dad had asked she hadn't asked for this either. Ash was brought out of her thoughts when she heard Katie opening the front door and quickly explaining everything that had happened that morning as they were coming up the stairs, "O.k. thanks Katie go and wait downstairs I call you if I need any help" said Jill outside of Ash's room she then knocked on the door she didn't wait for a reply she just walked in "Right young lady what's been going on and I want the truth" said Jill to Ash who was now sat at her desk with her sketch pad open "Mum" said Ash while shutting her sketch pad quickly Jill sat on the bed and motioned for Ash to join her "Well I'm waiting" said Jill as Ash made her way over "I'm fine really" lied Ash "Well Katie doesn't seem to think so" said Jill "I told her she was wasting your time but she wouldn't listen" said Ash "Well from what she's told me it's you that's wasting my time" replied Jill "I'm fine really I would just like to be left alone now" replied Ash getting up and returning to her desk "I'm not going anywhere until I get the truth" said Jill "Well I've told you the truth" lied Ash "Well I'll be downstairs when you decide to tell the truth" said Jill getting up and going to the door.


	18. Chapter 17

Jill couldn't understand what was going on she thought she had got somewhere with Ash yesterday Ash was even asking to talk to her maybe they were both telling the truth she knew she couldn't stay that much longer she had to go back for evening surgery. Jill went back down and started talking to Katie trying to get as much of the picture as possible "Mum I know she dropped the tea towel but she was clearly in pain when she tried to pick it up, but she wouldn't let me phone you and then when you phoned she snatched the phone from me when I was going to tell you, I promise you" said Katie for the third time "I know sweetheart, but she's not telling me anything" replied Jill clearly worried she looked at the clock "I've got to get going soon, will you be alright" asked Jill "Yeah we'll be fine but what if she's in pain again" asked Katie "Just phone and one of us will get here, who knows maybe your Dad will have more luck" replied Jill "I doubt it very much, they don't have a great track record" replied Katie "That's true" replied Jill getting up "Ash, I'll see you later call if you need anything" Jill shouted up the stairs "Bye" shouted Ash "See you later, and thank you" said Jill to Katie "Yeah see you later" replied Katie shutting the door behind her.

Jill got into the car frustrated wait until Gordon hears about this she thought she knew who he would believe maybe that's why she was hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed they didn't need any more arguments at the moment especially as Ash was still so vulnerable she couldn't bear the thought of Ash running away again or even worse just shutting them out completely. Jill arrived at the hospital Gordon was outside to greet her "So what was it then" asked Gordon "I don't know I couldn't get to the bottom of it they both say their telling the truth and I didn't have time to keep going round in circles" replied Jill "Right well we'll sit down and talk it out over dinner" replied Gordon "What good cop, bad cop" replied Jill "Yes if we have to" replied Gordon they made their way in he could tell this was eating Jill up but they couldn't do anything now. Evening surgery was uneventful much to Gordon and Jill's luck which meant they actually got to do their ward rounds on time for once, it didn't happen very often but when it did they made the most of it. Jill finished her ward round first and went to finish her paperwork at least she wouldn't have to do any over the weekend, Gordon knocked on her door when he was done "Are you ready" he asked "One minute" replied Jill making the last few notes and returning the lid to her fountain pen "Yes all done" she said. "It's alright for some" joked Gordon he then added "You could always help with mine" "You should be so lucky" replied Jill with a giggle they both got up and made their way home.

They arrived home put their coats and bags away and went into the front room where they found Katie sitting on her own watching the television "Hello" said Gordon and Jill as they made their way in "Hi, mum, dad I'm sorry about earlier I think I've made it worse" replied Katie clearly upset "Don't worry we've known there's something she's not saying" replied Gordon sitting next to her and putting an arm around her, "Where is she" asked Jill "She hasn't come out of her room all afternoon" replied Katie "Right we're going to get this sorted once and for all" said Gordon "Well let's not go in all guns blazing" replied Jill "Well what do you think we should do we've been patient up until now" replied Gordon "I know but we don't need to push her away now, why don't you start on dinner I'll go and see if she'll talk to me now she's had time to calm down" replied Jill "O.k. but if she doesn't then we do it my way" replied Gordon "Agreed" said Jill giving Gordon a peck on the cheek she then made her way upstairs, Ash was led on her bed listening to music when she heard a knock on the door she switched off the music just as Jill opened the door "can I come in" asked Jill "Of course" said Ash "Look we need to talk, or your dad's going to start asking questions" said Jill sitting on the bed next to her "What do you want to know" asked Ash "Well let's start with earlier on shall we" said Jill pleased that they were starting to get somewhere "I told you I was fine I just dropped the tea towel that's all I just wish people would listen and not stick their noses in where it's not wanted" replied Ash "O.k. we're just trying to look after you because we love you" replied Jill "I know but it just feels like everything I do is being watched and reported back, and I can't do anything right at the moment" replied Ash trying to bite back the tears that were so close to coming Jill could tell this so changed the subject "So what have you done this afternoon then" Jill asked "I've done some drawing then I felt tired so I just listened to some music" replied Ash glad for a conversation that seemed a bit more normal "How was work" she asked Jill went along with the conversation knowing this was what Ash needed at the moment "Ohh you know the normal, patients, ward round and paperwork" replied Jill "Speaking of which I need to change you dressings tonight before you go to bed" Jill added "O.k." replied Ash. Gordon then came up the stairs with drinks for both of them he knocked on the door that was slightly ajar "I thought you could do with some drinks" he said handing Jill both drinks "Thanks" replied Jill and Ash. Jill also gave Gordon a nod which he knew meant that they were talking "Right well dinner will ready in three quarters of an hour" he said while leaving them to it "O.k. we'll be down in a bit" replied Jill. After Gordon had gone Jill broke the silence "So what did you want to talk to me about" she asked while handing Ash a glass "Thanks" said Ash taking the drink "It doesn't matter now" she added putting the glass down on the bedside table. Jill thought maybe it had been too soon to ask that question but she decided to push the matter anyway "Why not" Jill asked for a minute Ash didn't know what to say "Look you know what ever you say can stay between just us" said Jill "I know, it's just" said Ash pensively "It's just probably for the best if I don't tell you" said Ash "I don't understand you we're asking to talk yesterday what happened today to make you change your mind" replied Jill "Nothing" lied Ash "Don't lie to me I know when you're lying" said Jill getting frustrated "I don't want to cause anymore pain that's all" replied Ash "Sweetheart, if you need to talk about it no matter what pain it will cause I'm here for you" said Jill "But if I tell you it will never be the same again" replied Ash "Yes it will" replied Jill "How do you know you can't promise it" said Ash tears starting to fall "Ash sweetheart, it will be o.k. I promise" replied Jill wiping away the tears "But if I tell you, you're treat me differently I know you will" sobbed Ash "It can't be that bad" replied Jill giving Ash a cuddle "I promise I will do my very best not to treat you any different" Jill added "I tell you what why don't we have this conversation tomorrow, we could get the others to go out so we have the house to ourselves" Jill said concerned that Ash thought this bad enough she felt she couldn't tell them "O.k." replied Ash "Right let's wash your face then go downstairs" said Jill getting up Ash followed she was really tired the tiding up she had done earlier had really taken it out of her "Are you alright" asked Jill concerned "Yeah, I'm just tired I think I done too much today" said Ash "Well it's an early night tonight then no reading" said Jill "O.k." said Ash she didn't have the energy to argue. Once she had washed her face they made their way downstairs "Just in time" said Gordon carrying some plates through followed by Katie. They all sat down together "Ash about before I'm sorry" said Katie "I'm sorry too" replied Ash "So what are you doing tomorrow Katie" asked Jill "I haven't got any plans why" replied Katie "Ohh no reason I just wondered" replied Jill. They spent the rest of the time making small talk, Ash had hardly eaten anything which didn't go unnoticed by Jill "Ash are you sure your alright" said Jill "Yes I'm fine just tired" replied Ash "Well can you try and eat a little more for me then" replied Jill "O.k." replied Ash she did manage to eat a little more but not enough to stop Jill from worrying, Gordon and Katie had gone into the front room, Jill was in the kitchen tiding up Gordon's mess leaving Ash alone in the dining room she got up and went to the kitchen "I'm sorry mum I can't eat anymore, I'm going to go on up to bed, goodnight" said Ash "That's alright, I'll be there in a minute" replied Jill. Ash then went upstairs she didn't even bother to say goodnight to Gordon or Katie she just went straight upstairs, she was just sat on her bed she hadn't even started getting ready for bed when Jill came up with her doctors bag "Are you alright if I do these now" asked Jill seeing Ash hadn't even got ready for bed yet "Yeah, no problem" replied Ash starting to get undressed Jill could see she was having difficulty so decided to give a hand Ash didn't even try to stop her which wasn't like her she was normally very independent. After Jill had changed the dressings and they had managed to get her into pyjamas she tucked her in "Goodnight sweetheart" Jill said giving her a kiss on the forehead "Night mum, thanks" replied Ash. Jill left the door slightly ajar if Ash needed her tonight was going to be the night she thought, she made her way downstairs she found Gordon and Katie still in the front room "Where's Ash" asked Gordon "She's in bed did she not say goodnight to you" asked Jill "No" replied Katie "Well she was very tired I think she's done too much too soon" replied Jill "Speaking of which would you two mind giving us a little space tomorrow" Jill added "No of course not, I was going to meet some friends anyway" replied Katie "I could always go in to work and do my paperwork" replied Gordon "Great thanks" replied Jill sitting next to Gordon.


	19. Chapter 18

The following morning Ash was the first up she was feeling better this morning and had been awake for a while before she decided to go on downstairs she started to get the breakfast things ready trying to be helpful she knew how difficult she had been the last few weeks Jill was the first to come down "Morning" she said surprised that anyone else was up "How are you this morning" she added "I'm fine" replied Ash getting up and putting her bowl and glass in the sink she then made her way out of the kitchen where she meet Gordon and Katie coming down the stairs deep in conversation they stopped when they saw her.

"Morning" they all said at the same time, Ash moved aside to let them pass then made her way upstairs, Ash stayed in her room until they both had gone she didn't want to argue with them and she knew she would because they made her so angry talking about her like that as if she wasn't there. She made her way downstairs and found Jill in the front room reading.

"Are you alright, you're very quiet this morning" asked Jill placing her book down

"Yes I'm fine, I just wish... it doesn't matter" replied Ash sitting down

"No go on" said Jill

"I just wish if they are going to talk about me they do it to my face or when I'm not around" replied Ash

"I'll have a word with them" replied Jill she could see how angry this was making Ash

"No don't worry about it" replied Ash

"Well we've got the house to ourselves how about I make some drinks and then we can have that little chat" said Jill

"Sounds great" said Ash, terrified about what was about to happen, she went upstairs and got her notes all of a sudden she had become terribly nervous, it was worse than standing up in front of class and giving a speech, this could change everything forever.


	20. Chapter 19

Jill had made them both a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa near to Ash who had decided to sit in the chair, she took the cup of tea from Jill

"Thanks" Ash said

"You're welcome" replied Jill

They sat in silence for a while after that Jill could see how nervous Ash was she hadn't taken her eyes away from her cup of tea and her fingers were tracing the pattern on the cup. Jill was thinking maybe this wasn't such a good idea maybe now wasn't the right time.

Then Ash started to talk she didn't remove her gaze from her cup of tea

"Mum I'm so sorry for how I've acted over the last few weeks, It's just that I've been so confused, I know I should of talked to you sooner but I don't know how to explain it" Said Ash

It was only now that Jill realised that ash had put her cup down and was actually holding a notepad which had her neat writing on it but that it was also tear stained and the corner had been ripped where Ash had been fiddling with it.

"It's just I feel like I've let everyone down, and if my real parents didn't want me there must be something wrong with me, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore" said Ash

But before she could say anymore there was a knock at the door "I'll get it" said Ash getting up and throwing the notepad down on the seat. Jill picked up the notepad she could only make out some of the words but she was beginning to see how confused Ash had been feeling and that how the tip toeing around had not helped the situation, then she saw it at the bottom of the page two words in capitals and underlined pain and how?.

Jill still had the notepad in her hand when Ash walked in followed by Sister Brigid. Ash saw this and made a quick excuse to leave the room saying she would make some drinks

"Hello Jill how are you" said sister Brigid as she sat down in the chair

"I'm fine thanks how are you" replied Jill

"I'm grand thank you and how's Aisling doing" replied Sister

"As well as can be expected, I'd better go and give her a hand" replied Jill

Jill just wanted to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would be alright, but she knew Ash had sat in the chair for a reason. She was cutting herself off from them, she needed to find out who she was on her own and sort out these questions that were now deeply imbedded in her mind.

Jill couldn't help wondering if they had lost their daughter already although she was home she wasn't really home.


End file.
